Sunday, April 28, 2013

Portfolio

Cover Letter:



The Year in a Nutshell
            As I write to you, my fellow classmates, I am in the process of putting together a portfolio of the writing I have done this year. The first thing you will find is an updated revision of a Literary Analysis I wrote earlier this year. In my analysis, I discuss how Liam O’Flaherty plants little hints throughout his short story about my thesis. The second piece in this portfolio is something drastically different. It’s something that makes my portfolio unique. The video I have in my portfolio is the best that I have ever made, considering this is the first one I have ever made. It puts a unique twist on a previous blog post. The purpose of this film is to give everyone a glimpse of what I experienced. I think this film will be one that you all will enjoy. The third, and final, thing you will find in this portfolio are a few “hit and misses” of the year. Over the course of the school year, there have been times where I have excelled as a writer, and also times in which I was not. The “hit and misses” are the times when I did the best and the worst. The two “hits” are pieces of writing that I am very proud of. On the other hand, the two “misses”, are pieces of writing I wish I could forget about. Throughout this, portfolio, I hope that you will find out who I am as a writer.
I chose my Literary Analysis to revise because I felt I had a considerable amount to fix. There were many things that I was looking to fix. Two things that needed fixing was organization and word choice. After reading it over five months later, I knew something wasn’t right. Luckily, I focused on this in my visit to the Writing Center. The Writing Center was a very beneficial experience. It helped me to see something from a different perspective. After reading the Literary Analysis, you will be able to see the more informative side of my writing.
The more creative side of my writing is shown in my video. In my video, I film myself in a documentary-like film about my experience the day I won a state championship. What’s special about this is that it’s not exactly the same. Although I am the same as I was that night, my surroundings aren’t. Instead of 900-1,000 fans, there will be none. Also, instead of a stadium that holds almost 30,000, there won’t be a single seat. You will be able to see me make a fool of myself as I “win a state championship.”
For my “hits and misses,” I took a lot of time deciding my high and low points of the year. My highest point of the year was by far my research paper. Not only did I make an A, it was the most complete paper I have ever written. That could be because I was able to choose what I wrote about, but it was still my best piece of writing of the year. My other hit was my blog post on my reflection of my experience of winning a state championship. In that post, I developed my ideas into one of my longest and most developed blog posts of the year. A miss of mine was my Literacy Narrative. This was most likely because I didn’t know as much in August, but it still wasn’t the best. I could’ve been developed more than it was. Another miss of mine was a blog post from way back in the first quarter. I wrote a very short, 2 paragraph blog post on my experience during Hurricane Issac. Looking back, that is a post I wish I never wrote.
This year I have learned more about writing in a year than I have in all of Middle School. Middle School gave me a base, but this year I have built on my foundation of knowledge. Until this year, I never knew about the six traits of good writing. I didn’t know how to use them to my advantage as a writer. Now, I know how to captivate my readers using these traits. Another improvement of mine is the ability to develop pieces. Looking back to my blog posts, I can see that I couldn’t make paragraphs more than 5 sentences. Now those paragraphs could be almost double in length. Over the course of the year, I have found strengths and weaknesses in my writing. Some of my strengths are conventions, ideas, and voice. When I’m at my best, I am able to use these to make my writing stand out. What can bring me down is my word choice and organization. Its not that I don’t have the vocabulary, but I sometimes don’t use it effectively. Some ways I can fix this is repeated visits to the Writing Center. I know that they would help me develop these traits further in the hopes of improving my writing. And so, as you read and watch my portfolio, look for my strengths and weaknesses in my writing. I hope you enjoy the work I’ve done over the course of year.







Hits and Misses:



Hits-

Research Paper
Blog Post- Reflection on State Championship


Misses:

Literary Narrative
Blog Post- Hurricane Issac




Writing Remix:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf756YqHFpc


Essay Revision:


They Never Got Along
            In “The Sniper”, Liam O’Flaherty shows us through the plot that the sniper didn’t get along with his brother both before and during the civil war today. The fact that they don’t like each other leads the sniper to knowingly kill his brother. The purpose of the sniper killing his brother is crucial to the story because it’s the mark of the end of their bitter childhood. Throughout the story, there is a sense of anger between the two brothers that most readers don’t detect.
            Before the time of the story, the two brothers didn’t get along. Their disliking of each other was the fact that they were fighting for different sides in the civil war that their country is in. The sniper that the story follows is a Republican, while his brother, who is on the other side of the street, is a Free Stater. O’Flaherty doesn’t give us any hints that they are enemies, but finally indicates this at the bottom of the first page. At this point in the story, a Free Stater tank has been driven to the middle of the street and the sniper has decided to open fire at the tank’s thick steel walls with just his rifle. This is an unintelligent idea because he will blow his cover, which could get him killed.  After he shoots at the tank, which was unsuccessful, O’Flaherty blatantly tells us that his cover is blown and that he is in danger of dying. “Suddenly from the opposite roof a shot rang out and the sniper dropped his rifle with a curse” (145,146). To a first time, you would not expect for this to be a setback because there has been no mention of a brother yet. You are more probable to see that the two brothers have disliked each other when you read it a second time.
            As they are fighting, the only thing that separates the two sides is a street, which can be thought of from two different perspectives. This street is no different than any of the other streets in Dublin, where this civil war is being waged. When most readers read this short story for the first time, they would think that the street separates the two sides: a literal perspective. This interpretation is justifiable, but if you think about it symbolically, there are many other possibilities. The most common symbolic reference for this street would be the problem that separates the two brothers, putting them on opposite sides of a civil war, a valid and senseful way to interpret the street.
            The two brothers fighting for opposite sides knew about one another and were purposefully trying to kill the other. Early in the story, O’Flaherty tells us a range of how old the Republican sniper is. “His face was the face of a student…” (145). If he was a student, and his brother was close to the same age as him, then they most likely lived with their parents under the same roof.  Where they lived was irrelevant, but the fact that they lived with each other kept them in constant contact. This way, they could constantly agrue about the decisions made by Republicans and Free Staters. Due to the fact that they were passionate about their sides, they would’ve gotten into many arguments and started to dislike each other as the arguments got more heated. After the sniper gets shot (and hit), he realizes that whenever the sun comes up, his cover will be blown and he will be a target for every Free Stater in Dublin. The problem, of course, is his brother. “Morning must not find him wounded on the roof. The enemy on the opposite roof covered his escape. He must kill that enemy and he could not use his rifle.” (146). The enemy could be anybody, but on these specific circumstances, knowing that his brother is on the opposite side and most likely gunning for him, there is a strong possibility that it is his brother. Knowing that they are just across the street from each other, they will do anything to kill each other.
Taking off his cap, he placed it over the muzzle of his rifle. Then he pushed the rifle slowly upward over the parapet, until the cap was visible from the opposite side of the street. Almost immediately there was a report, and a bullet pierced the center of the cap. The sniper slanted the rifle forward. The cap clipped down into the street. Then catching the rifle in the middle, the sniper dropped his left hand over the roof and let it hang, lifelessly. (146).
            O’Flaherty shows us in this quote both the elaborate plan of the sniper and the eagerness of his brother to kill him. “His hand trembled with eagerness. Pressing his lips together, he took a deep breath through his nostrils and fired.” (146). This is what most readers would expect after his brother shot at him. After firing the shot back, he needs to be sure he hit his target. “Then when the smoke cleared, he peered across and uttered a cry of joy. In fact he was so happy his rifle fell all the way down onto the street (146).” He didn’t just kill anybody. He knows who he killed, but we don’t so O’Flaherty has to tell us. He chooses to tell us directly. “The sniper darted across the street. A machine gun tore up the ground around him with a hail of bullets, but he escaped. He threw his face downward beside the corpse. The machine gun stopped. Then the sniper turned over the dead body and looked into his brothers face.” (147). You risk your life to see who you’ve killed unless you know who you killed. He knew he killed his brother.
            The fact that they never liked each other was an important part of this story. Without the hatred between the two brothers in this story, there is no passion or desire from either side and your story isn’t as nearly as good as it could be. Showing their dislike through plot was the best way to how that. If you were to show it any other way, it wouldn’t have been as effective. O’Flaherty presents it tremendously throughout the story.
The sniper got what he wanted in a dead brother, and he sure is happy about it. His bother may’ve had the upper hand in the past, we don’t know. It doesn’t really matter now though, the sniper got the last laugh as well as the last breath. Although there are many unanswered questions, they don’t have to be answered.

Works Cited:
            O’Flaherty, Liam. “The Sniper” English I Ed. Edwards and deGravelles p. 147-151. Print


















Monday, April 22, 2013

times

Ap study book- 120 min.- 600 B.C.-600A.D.

ESPN The Magazine- 45 min.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Poem

The foul has been called
it's in the box
"Chris, take it"
This is my time

The ref hands me the ball
I set it down
"uh.."
I move it back
"Better."
This is my time

Tweet!
It's just me and the keeper
Step up, wind up
and shoot
This is my time

I strike the ball
It rises like an airplane
It spins like a merry-go-round
It curves- like a perfect circle
It hits the post like two trains colliding
It hits the net like a gracious dancer
This is my time


In this poem I used
repetition twice-"It" and "This is my time"
onomatopoeia twice- "uh..." and "Tweet!"
simile- last stanza


What I Want

Reading Details: Writing Center 55 min.

Ap Prep- 100 min.


What I Want:

     To be honest, I haven't put too much thought into what I really want. I guess I want to be able to do something with my life that I really enjoy. One thing that I could see myself doing right now is being a general manager of a sports team. I've recently come to terms with myself that I'm not the next Messi or Ronaldo, as much as I wish I was. That being said, a general manager isn't asked to go and score a winning goal, but make sure the right players are taking that shot. I don;t know what exactly I would give to get there. I guess I would give up a lot of time learning the details through some sort of business/law school.

     One character that has wanted something really badly is Tambu. Tambu would've given up everything for a quality education, and she did once offered the opportunity. Now she has the ability to do anything she wants. Another character we've read about as a class was Ralph. All he wanted was to safely get off of the island. He organized all of the boys into a working community in order to stay alive. Even though most people died along the way, Ralph was able to get off of the island and go back to England.
   

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Paper Revision

     After reading all of my comments on all of my papers, I have chosen to revise my research paper. I chose this because I feel that even though I easily met the length requirement, I could expand my paper and include even more information about the growth of the MLS. After reading the comments on the final draft of my research paper, I know where I can improve my paper to add more information effectively. Of course I'll fix all of the surface errors that are left.

     The two traits that I'm going to focus on in my revision are organization and word choice. I thought that I had organized my paper in a pretty good way last time, but I bet there's a better way of organizing it now that I can look back on the paper. By having a better organization, my audience should have a better understanding of what is going on.

     My word choice in this paper was average. There was nothing special about my word choice. My goal is to have a noticeably better word choice in my paper. The improved word choice in my paper should help to get my point across more accurately. By looking for these two traits, I am giving myself the opportunity to improve my paper the most.

Jane Goodall

Reading Times

Jane Goodall- 5 min
Comment Reading- 25 min
Sports Illustrated/Tiger Rag magazines- 135 min

     What Jane Goodall did was something that may seem unimportant, but this is actually a major offense. Thanks to an article from a reliable source, The quantity of the number of offenses makes this a major problem. Jane and Gail could be in serious trouble, even if the book isn't released until after all of the mistakes are corrected. If I remember correctly, plagiarism is a felony offense. That means that if this were to be published, then she could be in serious trouble. That makes it a necessity to correct all of the mistakes.

     Jane, Gail, and Grand Central have a lot of correcting to do. If there are a dozen known mistakes, think about how many mistakes there are that are unknown. They are going to have to go through the whole book again and make sure all of there research is properly cited. This isn't just a short term problem though. This is something that could hurt all of their reputations when it comes to publishing in the future. Hopefully they can fix all of the problems and get the book out as soon as possible.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Reading Response

ESPN The Magazine- 45 min. on 4/6

Kaplan AP World History Review Guide- 140 min. 4/3-4/7

In ESPN The Magazine, I read an intresting article about Major League Baseball and the heavy contracts that come with it. Professional sports contracts can be ridiculous. For some pitchers, a 6 year/$180 million dollar deal is what they expect. That's a good way to get a good a great pitcher on your team, but it is not the most effective. Once players have completed their contracts, they are guaranteed a certain amount of money, almost always in the tens of millions of dollars. After that's garunteed, their performances tend to drop, knowing they have already earned millions without throwing a single pitch. Peter Keading writes about how pitchers were given 1-year contracts and performed much better. They have to in order to get another contract. Using stats, he effectively portrays his message.

While on spring break, I opened my review book for AP World History. The book is so big it's almost intimidating, but I did a good bit of it. It gives you multiple ways to review for the exam in May. Some of these ways include multiple choice, readings, and practice exams. I feel I am remembering a lot of what I learned back in August. Hopefully this will help me get a better score on the exam.